??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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