I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
