so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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