Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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