so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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