no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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