i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
