It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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