walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
