And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
