So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
