I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
