he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
