Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
