dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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