I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
