Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
