I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
