i don't like sucking hair
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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