Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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