that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
