when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
