I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
