i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You ate ashes out of my bong
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
