return my video game
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize