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do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize