Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
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