is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
