My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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