my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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