we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
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