I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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