we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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