Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
if only i could text you this smell
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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