Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You can't just leave with hair like that
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
