That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize