Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
