I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
