I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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