I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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