I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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