walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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