Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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