I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
These tits shall not be calmed
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
