oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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