Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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