I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The struggles of a small town man whore
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
