We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
