Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
