he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
