Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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