I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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