don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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