speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
