we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize