When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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