Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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