OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
