when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
