Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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