And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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