What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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