Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
