They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
